I am reading, "no death, no fear" by Thich Nhat Hanh.
The author is a Buddhist Monk.
He says that most of us are already dead.
When we don't live in the moment we are dead.
Even if we are turning around to look at the past or making plans for the future, we are dead.
So all day, I tried to live in the moment.
He suggests saying, "I have arrived. I am finally home."
I did this but it was still hard for me not to daydream about blond hair and my miata.
It's hard to get all jacked up about a day spent in the office and then it occurs to me that I might not be where I am meant to be.
But if I'm not enjoying the current moment...doesn't that make me dead?
I'm trying to figure out this living business.
All I really know is that I went a whole day without speaking ill of anything or anyone.
I made an attempt to be kind and thoughtful and I succeeded.
It felt good.
The Crossdresser and I have groupies.
Yes, friends.
It's true.
There are those that seek us out for what I cannot say. I'm not sure.
Not separately.
They want the package deal.
Is it even possible to want us both?
The Crossdresser and I are like night and day.
How can someone fancy us both?
I'm thinking they want one of us and long to be the other.
That's my vibe on it.
I'll keep you posted.
For now, I'll finish my green tea and admire the hot pink shorts the Crossdresser put on after work.
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3 comments:
I have been in search of lost time to try and find out why I felt an urgency for death and have more or less got my sights on the present and future which is really new for me.
Seems one day soon I may be reclassified as alive at last though I never have had or expect to have any groupies to prove it.
Glad to see you back, Caroline.
Good to see you back...interesting reading material. Heavy duty...(as spinal tap would say) Hard to live in the moment. I find it helpful to unplug from everything and listen to the grass grow.
Slows everything down
Pink shorts, yay
yay to pink shorts!!!!
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