Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Whether I work 2 hours or 12, I always leave the office exhausted.

I have to keep a lot of things spinning while constantly being by coworkers who want this or want that be to be sure they want something. I am grateful to have a good job during such difficult economical times and years of this type of work have made me a strong political animal. I can deal with most people with a lot of flare and ease but so many? It makes me tired and I feel so heavy when I come home. I can hardly wait to take off the heels and the panty hose and sprint around the house half dressed: except for the bra.
I can go without panties but I cannot go without a bra. This goes back to Nanna Jones to whom I owe all my propers and phobias to who insisted that if I didn't sleep with a bra on that I would be a droopy mess by age 25. I'm now 36 and I don't droop but I sometimes wonder if the confinement hindered my growth. I come from large breasted women-beautiful, low-to-the ground, sweet opened faced and hearted, healthy gals with loads of breasts and lilty laughter but I didn't get the breasts. My sister who shares my need for bras to bed also has small breasts. On her last trip to the states, we discussed our shrinking cup sizes and how we're managing to keep up appearances.
Jeanie wears a bra almost as much as I do or maybe we're even. He even wears them to work while always making sure to wear a t-shirt under his butchy work office clothes. Moving south has certainly been a transition for him though he doesn't show it. He says he's constantly happy; that he wished he had left New York years ago. I ask him if he's homesick and he says, "I am home."

Speaking of home, we are moving this weekend. I am excited but with slight anxiety of the thought of moving all our stuff even if it's just a few blocks away. The trunk of my car is full of boxes I got from work and I'm hoping Jeanie will be a good girl and pack during the day before he goes to work. But oh dread! I will have to tell him exactly what to do. Why is this so? Why does he have to ask a million questions just to do a simple task? Try as I might, I cannot reverse this awful trait in him. I wish I could but then other wonderful traits might leave him and I really wouldn't want that. He'll do it...just with a lot of direction. I'm hoping everything will be packed up before the boys show up on Saturday. Moving is a tight sweet event in my group. We always show up and show out and catch a buzz afterwards.

Cousin David and Mark will be moving soon too but not just down the street. Mark has taken a job a state away. I'm not sure how that will change us socially. I've hoped that we would make transgender friends but our circle still consists primarily of gay males I could just squeeze and love forever and ever. A few CDs have approached us both together and separately but most are so secret squirrel. None of them live as openly with the female factor as we do. They don't dress everyday. Some are gay but more are straight and even married but they are either tightly bound in the closet or their wife merely puts up. How can I be so different in this aspect? Surely I'm not the only woman who enjoys the duality. I crave to meet just one like me. So far zero.

There was Kendra. Oh, she's still about. Currently in DC but texting me away but I'm not so sure about her. It's flattering that she would watch us from afar and never get up the nerve to approach us. It's also flattering that she and I would make an instant connection but not so much with Jeanie and it seems that to really be friends, it should be with us both. Instead I get all the calls and texts and emails and I've turned the light on 'cause no one's home but she knocks just the same. Jeanie says I sent her circuits into overload. She's never been with a girl as a girl and she see that as appealing and for some that's too much? I don't know.

4 comments:

Sonora Sage said...

Wow, I could never sleep wearing a bra! I'd be so uncomfortable. I find the feel of clothing of any sort distracting, though I like the look of it. I guess I'm sensitive that way. If there's not going to be anyone around to see me, I have no real reason to get dressed. My bra comes off the moment I get in the door after work or I'd go crazy. :-)

Jamiegottagun said...

Bras will not keep you from eventually sagging. In fact, most research shows they will add to it when you get older, because the muscles that would help with the sagging get weakened from never having to do their job. Bras are actually unhealthy for women; look it up on the internet, there's lots of info there.

Jamiegottagun said...

http://www.007b.com/why_wear_bras.php

The Crossdresser's Girlfriend said...

there's research and then there's experience. Speaking for Nanna, my sister and myself: there is no sag. Even at 75, Nanna has perky breasts. We're small cupped but the sisters stand at full attention!