I apologize for my self mutalation in my last blog.
I was having a moment: tantrums come far less as one gets older but the few are far worse and last longer. I was also giving up an old habit so I'm not sure how much was tantrum and how much was withdrawl. It's hard to say anymore. My perception is changing wildly. After giving up pot, I thought I might like to give up all the vices so I gave up cigarettes this week. It's mostly about changing up routine and I feel much better for it. It's like starting all over again and having to figure it out.
The Crossdresser is growing breasts. I don't know what those vitamins from Taiwan do, but they do because the Crossdressers breasts are growing! It's funny because he's been all butch for weeks now. It doesn't really matter. We were grocery shopping and he was full on boy but I watched people stare at him the same way they do when he's wearing lipstick and pink. It's no different. I think it's because he's just as ;pretty and some things you just can't hide.
He seems happy enough but I"m worried he might get depressed but there seems to be a season as far as crossdressers are concerned. I want Jeanie to be happy; I don't care how he chooses to be happy.
Last night was the first night we've slept away from one another in months. It's not easy being 13. I left work early yesterday and the Scene Girl and I hit the road and landed on the coast of Carolina . Sometimes it's nice when someone drops everything just to spend time with you. I think the gesture is having a wonderul effect on her mood...and mine too.
Later we'll have breakfast and go to the beach. I am hoping to find sea glass and other wonders for my jewelry. The Scene Girl wants to take pictures for her portfolio. She has a great eye. I can appreciate the way she sees the world.
I think I smell coffee downstairs.
I miss Jeanie...
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4 comments:
About a year ago, my daughter asked me to come to work without make-up, she needed a picture. (for what I still don't know) I was kinda pissed since I'd been wearing it for well over a year. I sarcasticly I asked, "How big do my boobs have to get before I can keep my make-up on and be treated as a woman." With Jeanie's breasts growing, there may come a time when you have to change the pronoun from "him" to "her".
When I write about Jeanie, I am always overthinking the pronouns; totally aware that the male pronounds often seem ill-fitting.
Giving up on cigarettes - from what I've been told - isn't easy and I'm not surprised you had a few ups and downs. Good luck with quitting though... the urges will pass. :)
I hope you're enjoying California!
It definitely wasn't easy but it's been a week which means any urges are just in my head. Mostly I just feel lost. It's getting easier though.
Thanks Lynn!
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