Saturday, January 31, 2009

Cousin David

Cousin David rarely misses a chance to tell my sister and I that we are to blame for his homosexuality. He was our doll-a blond pretty doll with a thin frame and big beautiful blue eye framed in long lashes any girl would die for. We shared all of our favorite girl games with him; we made clothes for dolls, built elaborate homes in the thick of the woods behind our house and he claimed my easy bake oven and made better cakes than I did. Dressing him up like a girl was one of our favorite past-times. As we grew into brave young teens, we would take him out of the safety of the indoors and out into the world to see if he could pass as a genuine girl. We got such a high from fooling the public at large and transforming an awkward boy into a giggly girl.
Even though we took him everywhere, he would often say, "I wish I was a girl so I could do everything you do!" We didn't understand what he meant. He did do everything we did! We didn't realize at that time that he meant dating boys. He wanted to date boys and being feminine was what he thought he had to be in order to attract other boys.
I think I knew at an early age that David was gay. It came as no surprise when he came out in the late 20's. When he asked what I thought of him as an open gay, I said I loved him all the more because he was now an honest person. Honesty in all its complexity is such a wonderful thing to be. There is no authenticity in being something that you aren't.
When I fell in love with Jeanie, David said it was nice to not be the only one in an alternative lifestyle. I believe I've always been alternative; typical, normal, nice and neat were just never terms I would use to describe myself or my interests. I have to work today because of the Job Fair. Afterwards, Jeanie and I are going to David and Mark's for UNO with the boys. I'm so glad I thought to keep some of my sister's bathing suits that she discarded. Putting on a pink bathing suit for the hot tub makes Jeanie so happy.

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