Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ethics and the Like

When I was 20, I briefly gave up my given my name and everyone called me Jo. I drove a Red Chevy Beretta GT that I still miss, wore my hair Texas beauty queen big, and wore clothes skin tight. I had a great fake ID that got me into all the wrong places so that I could experience all the wrong experiences but that's okay. I learned to be fearless and it's served me well. I became a regular at a little bar that was frequented by green berets with hard-ons for me and a DJ who played Mustang Sally every time I walked in. I drank $2.00 whiskey sours and gave my cherries to those I wanted to conquer. I often saw Jesus sitting at the bar and danced with the devil a couple of times. My whole goal was to have a blast and take absolutely nothing serious. I succeeded.
I recall one particular Green Beret-just not his name. I never fancied him really but I spent a lot of Friday nights chatting with him because he would buy my drinks when I did. He was sweeter than the whiskey sours and I never gave him my cherries. I had already conquered him without even trying. One night he came in with his roommate. His roommate was really dreamy and looked like the poster cowboy on my closet door. They took turns dancing with me and invited me to go back to their place. The roommate said, "We want to share you. You'll love it."
That would take away all doubt and make me a certifiable slut.
I wanted to know but ....
I will never know, though I've wondered many times. Maybe I've done more than wondered. Maybe I've fantasized about it.
I've received similar offers but never accepted.
It was too taboo but maybe...
Maybe 16 years later I allowed myself to do more than fantasize about it.
Maybe I finally know what it is to be shared.
Only this time it wasn't Green Berets.
Maybe this time it was The Crossdresser and another Crossdresser.
Maybe as I kissed Jeanie, Kendra just kind of wrapped her arms around the two of us and we fell into embrace and debauchery and there were moments where I saw Jesus in Drag between my legs while an archangel in a wig and perfect makeup held me and kissed me so deeply that I had to call on God himself.
I'm not a slut.
I'm a fucking Goddess.....

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