Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Popular Opinion

Today one of the guys from the IT department called me and asked what my daughter's name was. "The Scene Girl". He quickly brought a CD found in an old computer that was once mine that was labeled Mom and Scene Girl. I decided to take a look and it was a bunch of pictures of the two of us from I guess around two years ago. My girlfriend Shelley came from behind and I quickly closed the window. She thought I was checking out something good and I had to explain that they were old pictures of me that I didn't really care for. She whined until I showed her a picture from a company party two years ago and she said, "That doesn't even look like you. Why do you look so different in that picture?"
I explained my hair was lighter and I think I might be a little thinner. Whatever the change, I look better at 36 than I did at 34. Just goes to show that aging isn't necessarily a bad process. I don't know if it's that I'm aging well or if it's the comfort I've found in being myself. I am certainly happier than the woman in those photos. It was post heart ache and about six months before removing most of the straight people out of my social circle. And before I get a comment on straight hate, I'm not speaking merely about sexual orientation. I mean, most people think I'm straight but those in the know are more than certain that it's not true.
Life in the alternative lifestyle has its ups and downs and mostly I don't mind that. I'm learning as I go and most of that knowledge is coming through experience and it's mostly always been that way for me. It makes for a lot of mistakes but luckily I'm a quick study. While I might not speak openly to everyone about my life, I certainly don't hide how I live. I introduced Jeanie as a cross dresser to those I'm closest to and others have heard and question why I chose a man who enjoys dresses as much as I do.
To each his own....or her own? Last night I heard RuPaul say, "I learned a long time ago that other people's opinions about me are none of my business." For me, the answers are not so hard to come up with. I chose someone I love and adore who in turn loves and adores me back. I chose someone with similar interests and designs with a great deal of kindness and capacity for joy. These things seem more important than traditions and trends. I knew that I would not choose at all if my choices were to be with someone who would hold me back and bring me down. Those were not options that were at all acceptable to me and yet obviously, those options would be more acceptable and pleasing for those that look out over my landscapes than God forbid, I have a boyfriend who wears make up.
Actually I see that as a perk! We run out of a lot of things, but make up is never one of them. Nor do we run out of nail polish, panty hose....or devotion, encouragement, laughter or hope. If they ever get up the nerve to ask me instead of discussing it with those I'm closest to, I'll be sure to tell them that but ....they won't.
You can't change people but you can always change your mind about them.


Sonora Sage said...

That was a very touching post. I can relate. :-D

Lynn Jones said...

If two people are happy together, what's the big deal? :) Love's a wonderful thing.

Cassidy Brynn said...

It's a wonder people can find love, who cares who it's with...shouldn't we be applauding those who find it and cultivate it, instead of judging it and boxing it away?



Chrissie said...

Cass said: "shouldn't we be applauding those who find it and cultivate it, instead of judging it and boxing it away?"

I agree, Cass. It's a very precious and rare thing.