Tuesday, March 10, 2009

POSITIVE

I went to work in my big girl panties.
Human Resources brought me a piece of paper and said I had to call the medical review office.
Something about my random drug test.
It seems I tested positive for marijuana.
I always knew there was a possibility of being tagged for one of those tests.
I just somehow convinced myself that I was somehow above it.
And I was for a long time. Just not last Friday.
I don't know what this means for me.
I mean, I know it means I'll never smoke again.
This is the first drug test I've ever failed and it will be the one and only.
I have never seen anything wrong with pot.
Maybe because I grew up with hippies and it was always there.
Paul McCartney smokes pot. I think Obama even smokes pot.
Even with the shame I feel that I tested positive for it, I don't really see what's wrong with it.
I just know that others see it as wrong-doesn't really fly with me.
I've always been very self-assured at work.
I do my job with flare and style and noone can do it better.
I am untouchable in job performance and yet, my job is not so certain anymore.
What will this drug test mean for me?
I hoped to find out yesterday, but not a word was said to me.
I waited and I waited and still no word was spoken.
Confronting the unspoken occurred to me, but I didn't.
Maybe that's not the thing to do, but waiting to learn my fate is torture.
I just want it over.

2 comments:

Chrissie said...

A positive for marijuana?
"I waited and I waited and still no word was spoken."

It may well be that No news is Good news, C-G. Perhaps it's a sign that they're really not that pissed.

Here in the UK private employers have no legal right to test their employees unless that person is working in a job where public safety is an issue.

In those firms and government bodies that do test, a single positive for marijuana would involve an interview with HR and voluntary enlistment in a remedial programme. Not even the British military would consider it a sacking offence, and you know what they're like over discipline.

I hope it comes to closure soon and I pray that you find you've wasted a good worry! ;)

My fingers are crossed for you.

Cassidy Brynn said...

My fingers and toes are crossed for you. I hope I never have to pass a test...it would come out green.

You can have a false positive test...lost of people do, for various reasons.

BTW I can now see your video...my Andrew Bird question would have been moot if I could have seen it last night...!

Sending vibes your way

Cassidy