Secret of my Own

This week wasn't hard or coarse at all. It was easy and I was untouchable. Today it all seemed to catch up with me as things often have a way of doing. I've always lived that way; always a little off the map and mostly that's fine. A secret may have or may not have been learned about me today and there could be repercussions. It could change everything for me. Is that one thing worth it? Of course not. Not really and maybe it's a secret I should no longer own. I know it's time to put away my last childish thing. Okay, one of my last childish things but certain I must beg for mercy and give up the childish thing. It makes me sad. It's kind of like dressing; something I've kept hidden in the back of the closet away from plain sight. Now it might be out there and I'm drained of everything except anticipation of the outcome. Jeanie is jumping around the house in a dress The Scene Girl gave him that I gave her a year ago and he's wanting me...my attention and love and he longs for the transformation I always give him. This is one of my favorite things to do but tonight it's like I'm mourning my childish thing because I know that I will miss it like an old friend. I stand to ruin my Crossdresser's weekend with the cloud of doubt and the burden of my secret. Well, maybe the night. I think I have to find something to utterly distract me long enough to let go and accept that this is my reality and I can either create a wonderful experience or not. The choice is mine. It's all about changing your mind. I think I'll go paint a door.